I wonder myself. Why am I this happy? Degree of happiness I didn’t expect before, from having a refrigerator. I had been planning to buy it since couple of months ago and finally it arrived yesterday.
People set points in their life; celebrate something every decade, once in a year, or once in a month. The most I see is birthday, New Year celebration comes the second, then Independence Day, wedding anniversary, office anniversary, couple anniversary, first meeting anniversary, we even invent death anniversary. Crazy!
What is it actually in celebration? Why we divide our time into days, weeks, months or years? Why we need to know the number of our years? Is it so we are able to tell when to start school, to know when is the proper time to get married and start a family? Or even to tell when someone should be dead? “Oh she’s 6, her mother will soon enroll her to school. Oh, you’re 30, stop playing with your life and settle down! Oh he’s 100, I wonder how could he be that healthy and still manage to live!” As if we have to reach a certain point on particular specified length of time. Crazy!
I have decided, to stand against the idea of celebrating birthday. I don’t see a point of counting the number we’re alive, length of time we’ve been through and classify it into years. Rather, I prefer to mark my time with momentum, stages of life I’ve been through, a juncture where I experience a growth. And it all has nothing to do with numbers of year.
As a part of human being who needs symbol to remember any accomplishment he has made, I am too crafting my symbols. I started wearing this hijab, to mark a point where I left my past and had a new beginning. I spent a full year away from city buzz, to hold back and see where actually my heart is belong. I climbed Semeru as a reminder to let things go and put a full trust on God’s plan. And yesterday, I bought a refrigerator. It’s a symbol of a promise I made, to not afraid to enjoy thing to the fullest, even when I know it will someday meet its end.
I wonder myself, that it turned out to be a refrigerator. Unlike other electronics (smart phone, notebook, or camera), it is not something you can bring along when you leave. Unlike other home appliances (a wardrobe, a set of mat and pillow, or a broom), it is not that cheap you can just leave it when you leave. It’s a refrigerator. It costed me some fortune yet I couldn’t always have it (at least after 7 months).
What does it imply?
I don’t usually spending on something temporary. I buy clothes not only because they’re nice, but because I know I can match them with many of my pants or veils, and the quality ensure me it will last for great length of time. I befriend someone not merely because they’re fun to be with, but because I know he/ she is always a fun no matter how far we’re apart.
A friend named it Gray. Now I call my refrigerator Gray. Gray is a symbol to mark a time where I learn that it is totally ok to spend on something temporary, as indeed everything is a temporary. It is not a matter of how long you can have it, but how well you spend time with it. I will have at least 7 months to play with Gray, and I can imagine the joy it will bring. The pleasure it offers to friends who are visiting, the surprises it gives whenever I open it: tasty ice cream, fresh fruit, healthy vegetables, cold milk, chocolate, and cheese. I will let others to enjoy Gray too, and then we will have a happiness shared.
How can I ask for more?